One night at about 3 am my wife was getting up from the throne
to return to bed when she heard a little noise. It was a suspiciously
rodent like sound that seemed to be right in the bathroom with her. She
of course froze and listened attentively for any further sign of
invaders. After a moment, satisfied that she was alone, she took a step
for the door. Rodent scratchy sounds again! She froze, not breathing.
Silence. Her heart beat fast as she once again tried to retreat from
the bathroom. This time the noise was accompanied by something touching
the back of her leg! That was, of course, too much to bear. She
literally flew the 8 feet to the bed, clearing the foot board by a
couple feet, to land screaming by my side. This is not a pleasant way
to wake up. Scrambling into consciousness, now scared half to death
myself, I managed to get the light on. The culprit was right there in
plain sight, a trail of toilet paper neatly marked the path from bed to
bath.
Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time. After three years, Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area. Often he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the citizens of the community, and he always reported back to prison before Sunday night was over.
The warden was thinking of remodeling his kitchen and in fact had done much of the work himself. But he lacked the skills to build a set of kitchen cupboards and a large counter top which he had promised his wife. So he called Andy into his office and asked him to complete the job for him.
But, alas, Andy refused. He told the warden, "Gosh, I'd really like to help you but it was counter fitting is what got me into prison in the first place."
A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves. "What are you doing in there?" she asked. The rabbit replied: "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?", to which the lady replied "Yes". "Well," the rabbit said, "I'm westing".
Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time. After three years, Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area. Often he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the citizens of the community, and he always reported back to prison before Sunday night was over.
The warden was thinking of remodeling his kitchen and in fact had done much of the work himself. But he lacked the skills to build a set of kitchen cupboards and a large counter top which he had promised his wife. So he called Andy into his office and asked him to complete the job for him.
But, alas, Andy refused. He told the warden, "Gosh, I'd really like to help you but it was counter fitting is what got me into prison in the first place."
A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves. "What are you doing in there?" she asked. The rabbit replied: "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?", to which the lady replied "Yes". "Well," the rabbit said, "I'm westing".