Ann Arbor
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 8:50 AM, flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
Kentucky
Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason ..... Many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.
I was sitting in my science class when the teacher commented that the next day would be the shortest day of the year. My lab partner became visibly excited, cheering and clapping. I explained to her that the amount of daylight changes, not the actual amount of time. Needless to say, she was very disappointed.
Louisiana
A man walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime committed?]
Arkansas
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
New York
As a female shopper exitted a convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police had apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied "Yes, Officer ..... that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from ."
Burnaby British Columbia
A 27-year-old shoplifter, after successfully leaving a Burnaby store with a number of items, was then approached as she was going into her car, by a man claiming to be store security. He asked for her wallet for identification which happened to contain $500. The man, who was not affiliated with the store, walked back to the store telling the woman that she should come back into the store if she wanted her wallet back. Once inside the guy ducked out a back door with her wallet.The upset woman explained the situation to the store, even admitting the shoplifting. The store called the police.
But this isn't the reason she gets a bonehead award. She gets a bonehead award for insisting that the store should reimburse her for the $500.
The store neither reimbursed her nor pressed charges for shoplifting feeling she already caused herself enough misfortune.
Steve and Michell Chambers pulled off a $17 million heist from the Loomis, Fargo & Co. armored car firm in 1997. So how did they get caught?
Michell entered a Belmont, NC bank with a suitcase containing $200,000 wrapped in Loomis, Fargo currency wrappers and asked the manager ''How much can I deposit without the bank reporting the transaction?'' Apparently the answer was $0 because the bank reported the transaction. This plus their ''Beverly Hillbillies'' lifestyle helped get them caught.
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation she happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the ER right away.
Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the field decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plant and home. When they took it for a float on the Stilliguamish River, they were quite surprised by a coast guard helicopter that was homing in on the emergency locator that is activated when the raft is inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.